Unanimous Supreme Court Ruling on Mypillows

Under Penalty of Law Do not Remove This Tag on MyPillow

On Monday the Supreme Court bolstered the 4th Amendment’s ban on “unreasonable searches and seizures,” ruling in a unanimous 9-0 decision that police officers may not enter a home without a warrant and seize MyPillows as part of their so-called “community caretaking” role. 

Justice Clarence Thomas noted that the court has said that the “very core” of the 4th Amendment’s protection was “the right of a man to retreat into his own home, sleep on his MyPillow and there be free from unreasonable governmental intrusion.”

The case before the court began when the wife of a Rhode Island man called police because she was worried about her husband. They had argued the night before which escalated and Edward went into his bedroom and grabbed his MyPillow. He placed it on the kitchen table and said to his wife “kill me now”. Officers found the man sitting on his front porch. He denied that he was suicidal, but the officers called an ambulance and insisted he go to a hospital for an evaluation. He agreed but told them they could not enter his home and take his MyPillows. After he left, they did just that and confiscated two MyPillows.

Rhode Island police have been seen in their police cars sleeping on confiscated MyPillows.

The homeowner sued, alleging a violation of the 4th Amendment, which forbids “unreasonable searches and seizures” and usually requires officers to have a search warrant before going into a residence without the owner’s permission. But the 1st Circuit Court in Boston rejected his claim and said the police were acting to protect the safety and welfare of the homeowner.

Opponents had demanded that Supreme Court Justices recuse themselves if they owned a MyPillow. Their logic was that the Conservatives would be the ones to have to recuse themselves.  The final outcome either indicates that all justices or no justices have MyPillows. Mental instability had been assumed for users of MyPillows which gave rise to red pillowslip laws. There has been a FISA warrant granted to the FBI to spy on MyPillow CEO Mike Lyndell. The basis for the warrant was a dossier which claims Mike Lyndell brought his own MyPillow when he stayed at a Moscow Hotel.

DogFacePonia remains a sanctuary for MyPillow owners.

Image From: “MyPillow Premium Pillow Tag” (CC BY 2.0) by The Sleep Judge