The way things are going there will be nothing left. Holidays have been added so many times that people take days off (paid or not) and it is supposedly hurting employers and the supply chain. We now are starting to eliminate holidays in the name of inclusivity. The alternative is to add a holiday for each perceived minority, no matter how small. Pluralism and the melting pot seem to have boiled over and are now dead.
- There are many who object to Halloween for various reasons. Some believe it is a pagan holiday but we need it to be fair to pagans.
- We strongly oppose eliminating No Pants Day though, because it is clearly equitable. People like Jeffrey Toobin and Brian Stelter who wear no pants must clearly have their holiday. No Pants Day is universal and therefore equitable. Anyone can go without pants.
- New Year’s Day doesn’t include Chinese New Year or Rosh Hashanah (Jewish New Year).
- Martin Luther King Day needs to be replaced with George Floyd Day. He is more to be celebrated these days. Free Fentanyl for everyone it just slipped through the open border.
- President’s Day must be eliminated because some had slaves and none were known to be gender fluid, etc.
- Memorial Day must be eliminated along with all relevant statues. The majority of the dead vote Democratic so that is not fair.
- Brandon’s Birthday is important because those cheering him cross racial, ethnic and sexual boundaries. Let’s Go Brandon!
- Juneteenth was added and cannot be eliminated unless we also eliminate the 4th of July. Juneteenth is equitable but the 4th is not (go figure).
- Labor Day is no longer relevant so it needs to be eliminated or replaced with Couch Potato Day.
- Columbus Day should be replaced by Indigenous Peoples Day or we must add IP Day to the list.
- Veterans Day doesn’t represent draftdodgers or wusses.
- Thanksgiving must go. No turkeys and nothing to give thanks for this year anyway. Black Friday Ain’t Black Friday no more either.
- Christmas does not include all religions so it needs to be eliminated or we must add Kwansa and Hanakkah.
- Easter needs to be eliminated or we must add Passover and Ramadon.
- Groundhog day? The ASPCA and PETA have objected to Groundhog Day after DeBlasio dropped the groundhog and it later died.
So we are put in the position of eliminating holidays while adding others which is unequitable.
We at DogFacePonia believe it is better to have something for everyone instead of nothing for anyone. However, if we add a holiday for everyone, there will be no work days left and Couch Potato Day will be the most equitable holiday. We are celebrating Christmas in DogFacePonia regardless of Liberal Grinchs and we aren’t wearing a mask.