“Kohls has positioned itself well to be the top supplier of riot gear” said a company spokesperson. “93% of our stores have not been looted yet. We hope that being the number one supplier of riot attire and gear will make our stores a safe place to shop.”
Kohl’s has started with selling BLM inspired t-shirts and masks; but hopes to expand to fireworks, shields, gasmasks, bulletproof vests and other riot gear as time goes on. Kohl’s has reached out to Yogurt and Elan Musk about a flamethrower for the children.
“We think this fits well with our company image and will help bring diversity to our stores. Right now primarily Kohl’s focuses on homemakers with children, grandmothers and gay people. We are hoping to add a new demographic of looters and rioters to our customer base” said Michelle Gass, Kohl’s chief executive officer.
Only time will tell if this plan will work out for Kohl’s. Some are not sure that bringing rioters to the store will not lead to more rioting. Either way, Kohl’s is hoping they will be the place to get supplies before the riot starts.
Strangely, Kohls stock has been down since the announcement.