Hells Angels Teach Etiquette to Antifa

Antifa attempted to recruit Hells Angels in Sturgis.  This backfired on them as one foolish protester kicked the bike of a Hells Angel in jest.  He had a man bun.  Everyone knows not to touch the BIKE of a Hells Angel. It’s like poking a bear. Police were able to protect the offender however.

As a result of this incident, the bikers are going en mass to Portland to re-educate antifa on Etiquette.  State Police are leaving Portland and allowing the Hells Angels to provide that education in a non-threatening environment. 

Lesson One: Protesters showed up on bicycles for instruction.  It’s like bringing a knife to a gun fight.  And never ever kick or in any way deface a Motorcycle or a Motaur.

Lesson Two: Don’t arrive with identifiable clothes or appearance. Any man bun that is observed will be cut off. Clearly, man buns have no place in a civilized society. Biker attire is permitted if you are a biker, to create fear.

Lesson Three: When removing a protester from his/her vehicle to beat them up, do so politely. Do not use bad language. Communication is key, say please and thank you.

Lesson Four:  It is considered impolite to honk your horn at a biker; they will respond appropriately now that state police are not in Portland.

Lesson Five:  Create good will by making eye contact and smiling.  This will work for police or storm troopers as well.  Throwing bricks, etc. will receive a positive response when delivered with a smile.

Lesson Six:  Close the door when you leave! Just like your mom and dad taught you, don’t let the cold air inside! Exception is made if you remove or breakdown the door.

Lesson Seven: Proper coffee drinking is taught. Raise a glass of delicious local beer as well.  Do not waste coffee or beer by throwing them at a building or a policeman. Use liquor which can be confiscated in many stores. Make a Molotov cocktail for this purpose.

Lesson Eight: Dogfaceponies are a protected species. Anyone causing injury or death of a pony will suffer the wrath of Bikers and federal law enforcement (gestapo).

Lesson Nine: Remember our Motto: Angels Forever, Forever Angels” (traditional) “When we do right, nobody remembers. When we do wrong, nobody forgets.” If you forget we will remind you.

Lesson Ten: Never interfere with a biker. There are least half a million and they are not PC and will defend against peaceful protesters. See a Confederate flag, run.

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Image From: “Hells Angels Rally” (CC BY 2.0) by SliceofNYC