Minneapolis, MN – A Minnesota man with no prior criminal record was arrested early Monday morning after participating in looting at Target. He is accused throwing rocks at the Target sign and cheering. When interviewed he told the police that he was just doing what the sign said. The Giant Target Sign was calling to him and telling him to “target” Target. The man claimed the Target sign had been talking to him for years but it was now the right opportunity.
The man plans to plead insanity if he is brought before a judge. The judge will believe him too if he just tells the story of what has happened this year. We still have no explanation for why others in the area choose to burn the store down after stealing all the valuable merchandise. Maybe the sign was calling them too.