Swalwell Offers Schiff his Ex’s Number

Schiff, Swalwell and Pelosi

Adam Schiff and Eric Swalwell have a lot in common. They represent California, and both served on the House Intelligence Committee. Many see both as traitors to the United States. Over the years their close working relationship has led to a special friendship. This friendship knows no bounds when it comes to cheering each other up during challenging times. Life occasionally throws curveballs that leave us feeling down in the dumps and friends are there to help us.

Schiff has been down in recent times ever since he was censured by Congress. All you need to do is read his Twitter feed to know this. He has been complaining about the censure, which has no force of consequences, ever since it was levied against him. An earlier measure that would have fined him, did not pass.

Still Adam has been down. “MAGA Republicans passed their resolution to censure me. We face many pressing challenges as a country. Instead of addressing them, @SpeakerMcCarthy took up a MAGA effort to distract from Trump’s legal woes.” he said in a Tweet.

Trump was impeached twice with fake information. Instead of facing the country’s problems Schiff thought it was valiant to go after Trump. Nothing could be more important than stopping Trump and wasting taxpayer time and money on impeachment trials. Now karma has come back, and he can’t understand why.

During these gloomy phases, Schiff needed a pick-me-up. Sensing his melancholy, Eric Swalwell, took it upon himself to brighten Adam’s day with a surprising solution. Eric offered Schiff his ex-mistress Fang Fang’s phone number. He told Schiff she always made him feel better when he was suffering from debilitating TDS. All he had to do was offer her some intelligence and she would do anything to make him feel good. Really what are BFFs for if they can’t share compromising material.

Schiff may no longer on the Intelligence Committee. But we in DogFacePonia think he doesn’t have a problem using fake or made-up intelligence to get what he wants. That said, we heard from one of our agents that Schiff might not be interested. He is married so right now he is looking for something a little more Non-Binary.

Image From: Office of U.S. House Speaker, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons