DogFacePonia has discovered a new version of an age-old story that seems to invoke questions never perceived before. A Covid Christmas Carol carries the essence and feel of the original story but seems to place a different question to readers. The outline below is broken down very similarly to the original with shocking updates.
Stave one
A Covid Christmas Carol opens on a bleak, cold Christmas Eve in the United States, after the death of Freedom. America, the main character, dislikes Christmas and refuses to give a dinner invitation to anyone who has not been injected or been thoroughly probed.
That night, America is visited at home by Freedom’s ghost, who wanders the Nation entwined by Democrat nonsense forged during a lifetime of greed, selfishness, and sheepism. Freedom tells America that he has a single chance to avoid the same fate: he will be visited by three spirits and must listen or be cursed to carry much heavier chains of his own.
Stave two
The first spirit, the Ghost of Covid Christmas Past, takes America to Christmas scenes of America’s boyhood, reminding him of a time when he was more free. The scenes reveal America’s cheerful childhood, his relationships with his beloved citizens, and a Christmas party hosted by a Congress that at least attempted to work together for the greater good. Finally, America begs Freedom to let him stay in this glorious past of happiness where the nation is not as divided by our elected officials, media, before inflation and shortages of goods.
Stave three
The second spirit, the Ghost of Covid Christmas Present, takes America to a market with people buying the makings of Christmas dinner, all the while exclaiming, It Costs How Much? The Ghost then takes America, to see the family of Tiny Tim, a happy boy who is seriously ill from a vaccination. The spirit informs America that Tiny Tim will die unless the course of events changes. Afterward, the spirit and America travel to celebrations of Christmas. Before disappearing, the spirit shows America three hideous, obese children named Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion. He tells America to beware of them and mocks America’s concern for their welfare. Warning Republicans are portrayed as demons and monster by the hateful media.
Stave four
The third spirit, the Ghost of Covid Christmas Yet to Come, shows America a Christmas Day in the future. The silent ghost reveals scenes involving the death of a disliked man whose funeral is attended by Illegal Immigrants only on condition that lunch is provided. America’s wealth is shown being stolen by nations across the world and handed back to Democrats. When he asks the spirit to show a single person who feels emotion over his death, he is only given the pleasure of seeing Republicans gathering around a fire in a concentration camp. When America asks to see tenderness connected with any death, the ghost shows him millions of Tiny Tims being buried while Pfizer counts its money. The ghost then allows America to see a neglected grave, with a tombstone bearing America’s name. Sobbing, America pledges to do more to stand for Life, Liberty, and the American way.
Stave five
America awakens on Christmas morning a changed citizen. He is thankful that change is not his gender but his mindset. He Vows to live his life and represent the Spirit of America. Children everywhere rejoice in the life they can now live in freedom, not oppression they are not given a voice against. Poor Tiny Tim will be remembered forever.
image from: “Ebenezer Scrooge’s gravestone, Shrewsbur” (CC BY-SA 2.0) by HowardLake
