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CDC Head Warns of Impending Zombie Apocalypse

The Head of the CDC recently warned of Impending Doom, AKA Zombie Apocalypse. She explained that some states have started to ease lockdown restrictions and that needed to stop. She recommend that we continue lockdown restrictions until everyone could be properly normalized to accept a lack of basic freedoms.

Much of the US population has taken at least one experimental shot. However, it is backfiring and the government is losing its power to tell everyone what they are allowed to do and where they are allowed to go. Look at Europe where a new variant is now going and they need new lockdowns for now until the end of time.

She said if people don’t start wearing 6 masks the government would be forced to enact Executive Order 66. This order would turn all those with Moderna and Pfizer vaccine into Zombies. In case this occurs, the CDC has released a Zombie Preparedness Guide. The Biden administration is actively working to confiscate all guns. This is to make sure we need the government to protect us from the Zombies.

We here at DogFacePonia think it is strange the government wants to protect us from the government. There is no word on whether Will Smith or Samuel L Jackson will come to save us. The Jedi will clearly have their brains eaten first after order 66. This will be followed by a new zombie imperial empire.

Image From: “Zombie Containment Area Sign” (CC BY 2.0) by Only in Oregon