CNN has instituted a new dress code. Going forward men will report the news sans trousers to provide more exposure. Brian Stelter displayed this new dress code in a live coverage clip during his live coverage of then-President Donald Trump’s Twitter ban. Stelter showed off his bare legs sculpted and tanned at a BLW spray tanning salon.
Stelter brought up the viral 2020 moment when ABC News’ Will Reeve had been caught reporting from home without pants on, during a Covid-19 lockdown. Going pantless humanizes the fake news said Stelter. CNN doesn’t follow news standards like telling the truth so why bother with standards like wearing pants.
The White House Press Corps has adopted pantless news coverage. Each reporter is asked to drop trousers for the Chinese Covid-19 anal test and decided to just go without them as a matter of convenience. The women were jealous of this new male dress code and demanded equity from Press Secretary Jenn Psaki. She agreed to circle back and swab them as well.
Jeffrey Toobin, a prominent writer and CNN’s chief legal analyst, was fired from The New Yorker after he accidentally exposed himself to colleagues with the New Yorker and WNYC during a Zoom call thus setting the gold standard for reporter news exposure. Maybe someday these reporters will expose the truth rather than themselves, time will tell.
In DogFacePonia, we have always allowed our ponies to report the news without wearing trousers. We have always been trend setters. We also can’t afford pants.
Image From: “Sadly, My Day Requires Pants” (CC BY 2.0) by Byron Villegas