Democrats planning when Biden will get COVID

An anonymous source has informed Dogfaceponia that the Democrats are working on a plan to determine when the best time for Joe Biden to get COVID.

It has long been the plan of the party that Biden will get COVID, it’s just a question of when. There is also a question as to if he needs to get it for real or it can be made up. Most are suggesting he should get it soon. He can blame it on his Labor day campaigning and use it as an excuse to hide in the basement. Joe likes the basement almost as much as smelling little girls.

Some believe this could backfire as Joe could die from COVID and then Kamala Harris would be the assumed candidate. There are some potential hurdles with the election to get her there in such a scenario. Some are suggesting that he wait until a day or two before the debate or maybe even get tested as part of the run up. Others think he needed to somehow create an event where a Trump supporter somehow gives it to him.

“It is important to time this right so Joe is either dead or fully recovered by election day.” said our source. “We are hoping to either get the sympathy vote or the triumphant COVID conquering hero vote.” Either way the main goal is to avoid debating Trump. This is also a way they plan to drive their agenda of mail-in voting. If the candidate can get it; anyone can. Also just remember, if Joe dies, he still plans to vote for himself.

Most are expecting an announcement soon.

Kentucky National Guard” (CC BY 2.0) by The National Guard