Everybody has their big thing. Chicago for instance has ranked as number one on pest control company Orkin’s list of the “rattiest cities” in the United States. News reports say that one thousand feral cats have been released in Chicago to control the rat population. This will also reduce the overpopulation of cats in animal shelters thus saving money. It does not however control the rat population in Chicago government. The mob controls its own rat population.
Texas took note of the Chicago cat release. They reminded the country that every thing is bigger in Texas. There are more tigers in captivity in Texas than there are in the wild (estimate is 5000). A new plan has been developed to reduce illegal immigration using these big cats. One thousand tigers will be released to law enforcement to control the border. Immigrants can climb over the wall but will immigrants be willing to face a row of tigers at the border. Law enforcement which has used dogs in the past is now being provided with tigers.
The new trained tigers will be provided to ICE, Texas Rangers and other law enforcement at the border to keep immigrants from crossing the Rio Grande river. Eating immigrants is discouraged but an exception will be made for Democrats and those wearing Biden t-shirts. Detroit has offered to send their Tigers to the border. After all their record in Detroit is dismal so they won’t be missed. They will not be as fearsome as the Bengal tigers but could throw or bat balls at illegal aliens.
What could possibly go wrong? If anything does, we have been told to call Chuck Norris.
We in DogFacePonia are concerned for our ponies but have been advised that tigers don’t like pony meat especially if it smells like dog.