DogFacePonia Medical has come up with a 12-Step program to free Liberals from burdens they have placed on society. By following these simple 12 steps a Liberal can shed their debilitating sheepish appearance and learn many valuable life lessons. Some praises include, Freedom from a desire to be controlled by the government, Freedom from Socialism, and Freedom from a desire to kill babies. DogFacePonia hopes that these simple steps can change the County.
1. Honesty: After many years of denial, recovery can begin with one simple admission of being powerless over Liberalism. Friends and family may also use this step to admit their loved one has a problem.
2. Faith: Before a higher power can begin to operate, you must first vote Democrats out of office. Someone with Liberalism accepts that there is a higher power to help them heal the Nation.
3. Surrender: You can change your self-destructive Voting habits; by recognizing the higher power, you can.
4. Soul searching: The person in recovery must identify their gender through science and get a clear picture of how their mental disorder affected themselves and others around them.
5. Integrity: Step 5 provides great opportunity for Freedom. The person in recovery must admit to their harmful voting pattern in front of the higher power and another person.
6. Acceptance: The key to Step 6 is acceptance—accepting character defects exactly as they are and becoming entirely willing to accept that Democrats are the true racists.
7. Humility: The spiritual focus of Step 7 is humility, or buying a MAGA hat and wearing it proudly.
8. Willingness: This step involves making a list of those you voted for before coming into recovery. Know what you want and proclaim it. Pretend you are Mel Gibson in Braveheart. Tell the world you want Freedom. Blue face paint is optional.
9. Forgiveness: Making amends may seem challenging, but for those serious about recovery, it only requires writing a letter to each and every Democrat you ever voted for and telling them how much they suck and they should never run for office again.
10. Maintenance: Nobody likes to admit to being wrong. Go out and buy an AR-15 and vote Republican. Suddenly you will begin to realize how awesome it is to not be a sheep.
11. Making contact: The purpose of Step 11 is to discover the new found freedoms that you almost cost everyone through your ignorance. Attending a MAGA rally can help a lot with this step.
12. Service: The person in recovery must carry the message to others and put the conservative principles of the program into practice in every area of their life.
These steps may not seem easy but they can have a huge impact on freedom for years to come. We here in DogFacePonia recommend visiting the website at least 90 times in the first 90 days. When a person shows this kind of commitment they almost never fail to kick liberalism to the curb.
Disclaimer: Our Satire is not intended to take away from the real struggles of people who suffer from Alcohol or Drug related addictions. If you or anyone you know needs help encourage them to seek help. We have provided links below to both AA and NA websites. These Non-Profit Organizations make a difference for so many people. Consider visiting the websites to make a donation that could change or even save a life.
Image From: “Freedom” (CC BY 2.0) by Got Credit