Qualified Candidates for Congress

Clowns in Parade

These are some famous people and the highlights of their lives which have qualified them for prominent positions in Congress.

First Candidate

Second candidate

Third candidate

  • Former Chicago Television personality and host
  • Always wore a blue suit
  • Supported children
  • Outstanding name recognition
  • Never raised his eyebrows either
  • Gave away transportation (Schwinn bikes) to guests who played “The Grand Prize Game

Four Candidate

  • Censured by the GOP
  • Father is Darth Vader and a crack shot to boot
  • Chaired the House Republican Conference, the third-highest position in the House Republican leadership
  • Removed from leadership in May 2021
  • Hasn’t appeared in Wyoming for two years
  • Supported second impeachment of Donald Trump
  • Is a Member of the 90s band “Pelosi’s Republicans”

Fifth Candidate

  • Ronald McDonald Was the Inspiration
  • Preys on children ( might currently be employed by Pfizer)
  • Two fears of It are courage and heart.
  • Older than the universe
  • He/she/they is a shapeshifter and he/she/they manifests himself/herself/itself in the form of something that his/her/its victims fear. So for us it could be A $30 Trillion debt or a booster shoot depending on the situation.
  • Archenemy is a turtle
  • Can speak Swedish
  • Is not dead

These Famous people have much in common. As we can all see Clowns to the Left and Jokers to the right here I am stuck in the middle with you. Nancy Pelosi, AOC, Liz Cheney, Pennywise and Bozo the clown have credentials which qualify them for Congress. We at DogFacePonia think we should run one of our ponies for office. They have experience and credentials exceeding those above.

Image From: “send_in_the_clowns” (CC BY 2.0) by easement