Tucker’s Porta-Server Has Leaks

Gotta Go Porta Potty

Tucker Carlson was surprised that the NSA has been reading his texts and e-mails. Tucker had adopted the security that high level government officials use. He then went one step further. He reached out to his sources and we referred to Eric Hoteham (who set up Hillary’s Server) and John Paul Mac Isaac who disposed of Hunter’s Laptop. Hoteham advised Tucker to create a Server in the bathroom. Mac Isaac gave Tucker a Hard Drive. Tucker had a private e-mail server created but instead of putting it in his bathroom, he put it in a porta-potty in his yard, a very good disguise.

Problems arose almost immediately when blue collar workers and children in his neighborhood started to use the porta-potty. Undeterred Tucker expanded his security system to include the porta-potty. The next time someone came to use the porta-server the police were called. Tucker was arrested by armed SWAT in front of CNN camera crews. He was charged with creating a public nuisance.

The NSA took note of all the activity and also read his e-mails to Eric Hoteham and discovered his porta-server. Leaks from Tucker’s porta-server are considered a health hazard. One of the leaks reportedly said Tucker told associates he voted for rap superstar Kanye West for president in 2020. How should the leaks be cleaned up? Tucker gave up and wiped it. He will use a cloth. Toilet paper is too scare. Also he took a hammer to his porta-potty e-mail server and his cell phone.

After this, the FBI raided the Potta-potty. All they found (outside of neighborhood deposits) was some UPS Envelopes containing documents and a copy of Hunter’s Biden’s Hard Drive. A new report says Tucker Carlson was seeking an interview with Russian President Vladimir Putin prior to his public comments claiming that the National Security Agency was monitoring his communications. Russia, Russia, Russia! Tucker was never accused of being a Russian collaborator but there is still time while Democrats are in office.

We here at DogFacePonia have no idea where this crap comes from or where it goes. Maybe we should ask Cotton Eye Joe Biden.

Image From: “GOTTA GO” (CC BY-NC-ND 2.0) by HunterxMoore