White Cake Reparations

A ‘white’ suburban family living near Chicago is having a birthday party for their daughter, turning 3, at home with their family of 4. Their family includes Mom and Dad, Sarah turning 3 and Jimmie is 6. Dad told a Dogfaceponia reporter that they plan to “Get McDonald’s Chicken Nuggets with Ranch Dip and serve white cake with vanilla ice cream”.

They plan to do this at their home due to COVID-19 restrictions and not invite any guests. “Take out food is a treat during these times” said the mother. When we interviewed the children they told us “We only eat white cake. Other flavors are yucky.”

We interviewed an unnamed peaceful protester and she said “What is wrong with these parents they are clearly racist, and not only that but they are passing it on to their children. I’ll bet they didn’t even invite black people”. Another protester was outraged. They went to McDonald’s “clearly they are trying to mock us for taking reparations at Ronald McDonald’s house“. A Third protester complained the entire white cake industry should pay reparations.

Bakeries already trying to come back from previous controversies are concerned that blacklash might be coming over white cakes. “Most of our cakes have white frosting” admitted one anonymous bakery owner. “Even our chocolate cakes frequently use white icing. 98 percent of our wedding customers request white icing”

As protests move to the suburbs, families like this one and bakeries everywhere might need to be concerned.

Image From: “President Obama Celebrating Birthdays” (CC BY-ND 2.0) by U.S. Embassy New Delhi