Minneapolis City Council Confused at Violence Increase after Defunding Police

Minneapolis decided to defund the police after the death of George Floyd. Based on this, the hope was to have beautiful harmony.

One Council member said “I was all about defunding the police but violent crimes in my district have increased by 50%. I thought defunding the police would fix this. Why on earth are crimes going up?”

Another council member wondered “Where are the police? Don’t they handle this sort of thing?”

I have a story, we have all decided to get together and roast marshmallows next to the building on fire (due to riots). All involved decided to sing Kumbaya together and race relations were perfect because the police stopped instigating all the violence. So now that the fairy tale is done. Violence is on the rise.

The Police said “Nobody invited us to the Kumbaya BBQ”

Ilhan Omar said “It looks just like Somalia, I feel right at home”

Fairy tales are not always real and defunding the police is a fairy tale gone wrong. It’s like Hansel and Gretel stuck in the witch’s oven fire, it didn’t end the way you remembered.

CNN and the New York Times are now saying Minneapolis didn’t actually defund the police. This makes sense but doesn’t really explain the increase in violence. Maybe we can get the Dragon Force to light the fire. That way Peaceful Protesters and the Police can get together and all sing “We Didn’t Start the Fire” together. Then the protesters and city council can just blame Trump like they always do.

Image From: “The 3rd Police Precinct building on Thur” (CC BY-SA 2.0) by Lorie Shaull