CNN has congratulated Reverend Warnok, the Warlock, on his stunning performance in the first Georgia debate, it was magical. Warnok, using his powers to see the future, showed CNN he would win. With all the Magical ballots appearing out of thin air and the undead rising to vote (Warlocks are known to have necromancy powers with the right training). They went ahead and announced him the winner of the debate and the election.
The Senator-Elect thanked CNN for their support and adulation. Many other commentators felt that he might lose after calling Senator Kelly Loeffler a dumb blond white woman. Voters, when polled, did not believe he was racist or sexist and that CNN was definitely correct in awarding him the win. The poll was taken of Democrat and CNN voters who believe in magic.
CNN, itself, has a lot to celebrate. As we all know from Citizens United companies are people so CNN is saying it will be receiving the Time Magazine Person of the Year Award. CNN can now refer to themselves as “Time Person of the Year Elect”. They won this ( or claim to have won this) for the efforts to get Joe Biden elected using the media to brainwash the public. They beat out Doctor King Governor Cuomo and Governor-elect Stacy Abrams. Abrams continues to claim she won. Gov. Cuomo claims the win also after all he won an Emmy. Chris Cuomo could hardly contain his disappointment that his brother had not lost. If you believe that I will tell you another one. Magic is in the air.
Many people must believe in magic and miracles. After all that is the only possible way other than cheating that Biden or Warnok could be announced as winning the election.
We at DogFacePonia congratulate the winners not Warlocks. We recognize that in politics and showbusiness (same thing) no one ever admits to losing. So they will all be reported as winners. There sure are a lot of Senator, Governor, President and Time Magazine Person of the Year elects out there. Maybe one day Dogfaceponia will be Pulitzer Prize Elect for the quality writing we bring you.