Our truest and most honorable King of New York has come out to inform us of important information. We should not trust the Trump administration in regard to a Covid-19 vaccine. He has explained he is the smartest Doctor his country has ever produced. His words as a monarch have been given and his brother Chris (Fredo) Cuomo is sure to spin it on CNN.
Cuomo is boasting his new doctor credentials that he granted himself. King Cuomo informed the press that they can officially call him Doctor King Cuomo from now on. “I really like the sound of it, as I am an expert in Medicine and Civil rights, it only makes sense. I want people to associate me with Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.” said Cuomo humbly.
He went on to explain he has been studying Covid-19 and has even run many successful tests that have had great results. “As a great Scientist I always use the Scientific Method. First I create the proper hypothesis then I proceed to prove it” said Dr. Cuomo
First, The King pointed to his nursing home test. The King said, look how I managed to euthanize many needy people and uncover valuable Covid-19 information for everyone. He went on to say how without the wonderful death rates he created, we may not have been able to lockdown so much of the county. This was part of his plan to stop Trump.
Second, he said “I am moving on to a solid Redlining to ensure Covid-19 stays controlled in the areas that need it most”. He further explained how this will save lives just like his choice to experiment with nursing homes.
Third, we must continue our experiments. We must delay availability of any vaccine while we check it with our experts. This way we can see how high our death rate will be versus states which immediately begin vaccinations.
Fourth, we have implemented Mask Mandates as much as possible. Scientists have said even though they can’t prove masks work, the minimal inconvenience makes it worthwhile. New York has taken this to heart and implement maximal inconvenience if people do not follow our Mask Order. We have pretty much taken the approach of maximum inconvenience with all of our COVID-19 Executive Orders.
“Some have questioned us on Confirmation Bias. But there is no Bias I have confirmed it personally” said The King.
Chris Cuomo spoke of the genius of his brother and praised him for becoming a Doctor. Chris said, All us anchors at CNN gave ourselves Doctor Degrees right as the pandemic hit, my brother the King has always heeded my advice and I am glad he can call himself a doctor too.
Chis said “We at CNN knew Hydrocloriquine would not work once we heard Trump say it would”. We also know that forcing people to wear facemasks all along was the right idea even though we only announced it when the time was right.
As we all now know the Cuomo Family is here using the best science to help you protect yourself from yourself.
“Andrew Cuomo – Caricature” (CC BY 2.0) by DonkeyHotey