How to Shred $600

So the great long awaited $900 billion dollar stimulus package is done!!! You get $600 (if you fit the qualifications). If you calculate that maybe 300 million Americans get checks that means $180 Billion goes to us and the other $720 Billion goes to whoever needs a bailout.

$600 – wow amazing, that is more than the GDP of Dogfaceponia!!! (Dogfaceponia is not qualified for a bailout) Maybe some Americans can pay their bills for another week. This is probably what all the millionaires in congress believe poor and middle class people are worth to them.

$600 will defintly help me feel better about the stolen election and my country being sold of to China. It’s like the buyout of America.

Interesting, Smartmatic Venezuelan voting machines were used in the election. I have considered shredding the money like the Government has done to the economy. However, we should probably all go get $600 of toilet paper or bitcoin. Both will go straight up in values as we head toward Venezuelan like hyperinflation. Alas, you can’t wipe anything with bitcoin so we recommend toilet paper.

I’ll bet Bernie Sanders voted yes! He wants us to be just like China and Venezuela. Maybe I should just burn the $600 and feel the burn. We here in DogFacePonia are unsure if burning $600 in your fireplace will net you as much as $600 spent on Swalwell’s Chinese escorts. If we keep printing money like this it is basically only worthwhile as kindling. Not sure how long it will keep me warm. At least we having genious bartenders with economics degrees like AOC to make super choices and she says lets print more money.

I have a radical idea on how to fix the economy and bail out America. Keep your $600 and end the lockdowns. Either way we still recommend everyone buy toilet paper, because something about this CRAP stinks and may require more toilet paper to clean it up.

image From: “Shred” (CC BY-NC-ND 2.0) by ktpupp