The White House announced today that Hunter Biden has been commissioned to paint Joe Biden’s official presidential portrait. Word is he will be the highest paid artist in presidential portrait history.
There is no Nepotism here. Hunter is a true renaissance man. He can (pretend to) do nearly any job (as a front for selling influence). Hunter has a scheduled art show at the Biden Basement Delaware Art Gallery. Paintings originally priced at $500k are expected to fetch a higher price after the announcement.
Purchases of Hunter’s painting were to be paid for in Dogecoin but later that was changed to gold when Hunter found out Dogecoin could be traced. All purchases are to be anonymous. This will allow Chinese, Ukrainian, Russian and Democrat lobbyists to support no experience Hunter without a Congressional Hearing. Rumor has it that the BigGuy is getting a 20% cut of the proceeds. This is seen as a genius way to influence peddle in an untraceable fashion.
Gacy paintings are fetching anywhere from $6,000 to $175,000. Gacy clown paintings have sold for $50,000. Hunter paintings have become a cultural obsession like Gacy, Dahmer and Manson but at a much higher asking price. Conspiracy theories also suggest that the legendary coloring books from Hunter Biden’s youth will also be auctioned. No Word if his home made videos are on the block.
In other news, Hunter is offering to cut off and sell his ear for $2,000,000 . We here at DogFacePonia expect all of this will occur on a Starry Starry Night.