Kim Jong Un Rules While in Coma

Rumors have been circulating for months that Kim Jong Un is critically ill. Speculation has Kim falling into a coma months ago following a heart operation and that his public appearances since then were pre-recorded.  North Korea has been recording Kim for just such an occasion.  North Korean media has assured the public that Kim Jong Un is able to run North Korea while in a coma so not to be concerned.

There are pictures showing Kim looking healthy and leading a meeting last Tuesday of the politburo of the Workers Party about prevention of the coronavirus and comas according to the Korean Central News Agency. North Korea has no known cases of the Corona virus or coma according to the World Health Organization.  Pictures of Kim holding a newspaper with today’s date are suspect because the country causes the news headlines ahead of time. New life-size blow up dolls of Kim Jong Un are being marketed in North Korea and an advertisement for them is visible in the newspaper. The media says these dolls are to foster social distancing yet maintain a sense of normalcy until restaurants can fully reopen.  North Korea estimated 2050 for the reopening date after coma risks have been resolved.

The United States wants to send an undercover operative, Dennis Rodman, to determine the state of Kim’s health. This news came shortly after N. Korea’s said that Kim would be gradually transferring some authority to his younger sister, Kim Yo-jong, to ease the stress of ruling while in a coma.

Other possibilities include:

  • Hiding from his wife, Rodman, the world, Dogfaceponysoldiers
  • Staying in his basement in solidarity with Joe Biden to establish a relationship.
  • Afraid of being the first Covid death in NK

Kim has been photoshopped:

  • Visiting a flooded area
  • Visiting a cornfield
  • At a blow up doll factory opening in Pyongyang where he posed for a doll.

All in all rumors of Kim’s illness have been grossly exaggerated and will continue to be until Kim is healthy again.

Check out this story on N. Korea confiscating pet dogs: