A man named Fred (his real name kept concealed to protect his secret identity) tried to join the X-men after receiving both the Pfizer and Moderna vaccines. While growing up, he always wanted to be a member of the X-men.
“They had cool powers and I always wanted to be like them. I saw these cool new vaccines as a way to become a mutant with DNA modification.” Fred continued “I was told that if I was a mutant I could get into the Famous (Xavier’s) School for Gifted Youngsters but after an interview with Captain Picard they wouldn’t let me in.”
We asked Charles Xavier why Fred was not allowed in. Charles said “Fred didn’t qualify in any way. He is not young and Mutant stupidity doesn’t count as a gifted super power. He may be a mutant now but we are not looking for genetic mutation that makes you weaker.” Apparently, The Analeptic Shocker or Moderna Arm Man were not welcome on the team.
Fred then tried to join the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles with similar results. Splinter rejected him for not being a teenage or a turtle. “Even if I could teach him Ninja Skills, which seemed unlikely, He told us he didn’t want to live in the sewers and he hated Pizza.” said Splinter.
Splinter recommended that Fred try to join the Foot Clan or The Mutant Brotherhood. They both usually had room for bumbling idiots to try to distract Heroes and act as pawns in their games(like Democrats). It is possible Fred could go to Hollywood if his brain is successfully damaged. There he could load up some Botox and mutate himself a bit more.
Fred is holding out hope that getting more vaccines could help get him in. He wants to try the AstraZeneca and Johnson and Johnson as well. He is looking forward to any mutant powers he might gain from either of them. If possible he is going to get more Moderna and Pfizer shots too. It nothing else Fred wants to make it into the Guinness book of world records for most vaccines. We have no information on how Fred was able to get so many shots. Fred may be part of Cuomo brothers or Gavin Newsome’s inner circle which got him on the Priority list.
One Day Fred hopes to be known as COVID Man or the Vaccinator. If he becomes a Super-Hero or Super-Villain only time will tell. For now, we here at DogFacePonia are content to call him Super-Idiot.
Image From: “Generic X-Men” (CC BY-SA 2.0) by tr.robinson
