After recent events of the MyPillow Insurrection the growing danger seems to be clear to the Biden Administration. Beto O’Rourke has been given the unenviable task of confiscating MyPillows. He is now the official MyPillow Czar. He intends to tax people $200 per MyPillow unless they replace them with government sanctioned pillows that allow the government to listen in to pillow talk. Rubbing Mike Lindell’s patented fill into the wound, CNN is adding a new show to its lineup called Pillow Talk with Beto.
National Guard units suffered the indignity of having to sleep on the Capital Floor and garage floors without MyPillows. After their MyPillow confiscation, Governor Abbot of Texas held a news conference where he recalled the Texas National Guard. When asked about his MyPillow, the governor was quoted as saying “Come and take it”. Senator Ted Cruz took up the cause wearing a mask to the inauguration with this Texas motto on it.
There are an estimated 41 Million MyPillows that have been sold. There could be one lurking behind every blade of grass.
The NMA (National MyPillow Association) called an emergency session to discuss their response to growing government overreach and violation of their constitutional rights. At the end of the meeting the President of the NMA declared “You can have MyPillow when you pry it from my cold dead hands. And even then, good luck!”
Remember the Alamo! They fought to the end for our freedom. Can we do anything less for our MyPillows? What will they confiscate next?
There is much fear of Pillow Riots or fights. Opponents of confiscation say no one should fear. As anyone who owns a MyPillow knows to use their old pillows (puchased at Kohls) for a fight rather than the prized MyPillow.
According to Democrats The MyPillows are clearly weapons of mass destruction and should be treated as such. Who knows if anyone will get a good nights sleep.