The MyPillow Insurrection

The MyPillow guy (Michael Lindell) recently met with Trump at the White House. A Zoomed in view on his paper work revealed something about insurrection.

Clearly, he was planning an Insurrection as deadly as the Capital raid using a dangerous new weapon … MyPillow. Since his visit MyPillows have been selling like mad. No doubt there is something being planned. As a result, Kohls and Bed Bath and Beyond will remove MyPillows, which are clearly dangerous, due to their links to insurrection and terrorists. Kohls will continue to sell other riot gear like Black Lives Matter T-shirts get yours here. (Some are on clearance because they have not had a riot to burn down a city in a while)

Secretary of Homeland Security-Select (he has been selected but not approved) Alejandro Mayorkas said “Clearly these extremists on the Right are Dangerous they will wear Bear Suits and start pillow fights with the Police and National Guard”

This is clearly why 25000 troops were needed.

100 + Day or Rioting in Portland

City Response:

  • Release the criminals so they can do it again.
  • Let Antifa harass the mayor in his home
  • Let businesses sustain billions of dollars in damage
  • We don’t need the National Guard

In Minneapolis Rioters burned, looted or vandalized 1,500 Twin Cities businesses, Estimates exceeding $500 million. Police stations vandalized and burned down

City Response:

  • Defund the police
  • Release the criminals
  • Don’t worry the businesses have insurance
  • Say it was Justified

Capital Riots happen in Washington January 6th where the police opened the doors and let actors into the Capital for a Photo Op. Then the MyPillow Guy talks to Trump.

City Response:

  • 25,000 Troops in the Capital
  • All Criminals will be fully prosecuted for the photos they took.
  • Impeach the President.
  • Accuse Republicans of insurrection and attempting to overthrow the government.
  • Stop Selling My Pillow at Bed Bath and Beyond

We truly live in a dangerous time where the worlds largest pillow fight could be started at any time. The real question is will 25000 troops be enough. There are literally millions of people that have bought a MyPillow.

Some Democrats are still wanting to impeach someone as they failed to convict Trump and there is some confusion on if they can do a trial again now that he is not in office. But Michael Lindell is the CEO of my Pillow, Can they impeach a CEO? who knows?

“Not My” President Joe Biden said “My top priorities are to keep America safe. We will stop dangerous things like Free Speech and MyPillows”

I am not sure if we can all sleep a little better knowing Joe is coming for our Pillows.

Here at Dogfaceponia we plan to order several MyPillows for our ponies. They love them. As the Goya effect continues we are sure MyPillow will have record sales this month. In other News, Andy Ngo is a best seller on Amazon.

Image From: “MyPillow Premium Pillow Packed” (CC BY 2.0) by The Sleep Judge