CNN Presidential Debate Predictions

Trump vs Biden

Red Bull, Bud Light and Depends are the sponsors for the debate. We at DogFacePonia wonder how this could impact the results. We predict it will be hard to know who wins though it certainly won’t be America.

Red Bull, Depends and Adderall will provide samples in a swag bag given to participants before the debate.  Let’s see if Biden or Trump has wings. Adderall manufacturer Teva Pharmaceuticals is not an official sponsor of the event. However, they are helping behind the scenes to get Biden going.

Dylan Mulvaney will reveal his/her/its current gender. Biden will reveal his gender as well.

Our Predictions:

  • RFK Jr. is a winner because he gave no controversial answers.
  • Jake Tapper is a winner because he hogged the most time and interrupted Trump the most.
  • Biden wins for the most mentions of convicted felon, abortion, disinformation, and January 6th. He also wins for saying nothing else but that. He checked his watch and there just wasn’t enough time so he wins for wandering off.
  • Dana Bash wins for calling Trump H1tler.
  • Donald Trump wins for the most answers that were interrupted or incorrectly fact-checked.

We predict the viewers will all be drunk after only a short time because they are playing the Debate Drinking Game. The game requires taking a drink for every mention of convicted felon, abortion, Roe V Wade, January 6th or H1tler. If Charlottesville or Russian disinformation is mentioned, the viewer must down a bottle of Vodka.

We at DogFacePonia are just going to take the night off and go to the circus or the comedy club.

See how we did with our predictions by reading DogFacePonia Debate Predictions Debunked.

Image From: “Trump & Biden” (CC BY-SA 2.0) by ekaden