Democrats Confused Do They Need a Trump Mistrial

Trump NY

Reports surfaced that a member of the Trump jury revealed the verdict to a relative on the Biden Campaign before deliberations. This would provide a reason to declare a mistrial. There is concern that Judge Merchan will sentence Trump to jail causing his poll numbers to continue to go up further. For this reason, declaring a mistrial could be a good solution.

The investigation into a potential mistrial has been assigned to the Lawfare Committee of the DNC. After deliberations, the LCD decided that declaring a mistrial was the best route to take.  The Judge could then immediately bring Trump back to court for a new trial. This would keep him off the campaign trail for another 6 weeks, save Biden from having to debate a convicted felon and cause the Republican Convention to nominate Trump in absentia. It would also make Trump the only former President to be a twice convicted felon before the election. Trump continues to set historical records which may never be broken Except Possible by him.

A New Trial?

In the meantime, efforts are being made to allow the new trial to be recorded for posterity. The Stormy Daniels testimony should be preserved and also broadcast for maximum exposure. We at DogFacePonia believe maximum exposure is already available by streaming Stormy’s movies.

The building temperature will be lowered for maximum effect on Trump and the witnesses. He would appear to be cold and shaking in fear. Unfortunately, the trial may have to be postponed as the fire marshal has made the judge turn off his under-the-bench heater.

A change in venue is being considered.  Salem Massachusetts was suggested; as a place to burn witches would be readily available. But the fact that Trump beat Hillary leaves witchcraft open to question. (ie. Which witch is which?)

In other news: Michael Cohen is being forced to move out of the Trump building his condo is in because he can’t associate with Trump because they are both convicted felons. Trump might be banned from the debate if Hunter enters the building first because he can’t associate with a convicted felon.