Cicadas for Trump?!

Cicadas are emerging in numbers not seen since Thomas Jefferson was President. Different Broods of cicadas emerge in different yearly patterns. Some emerge on 13-year or 17-year patterns. While others are perennial. This year will bring out multiple of the largest broods at the same time. Now the obvious question comes to mind what does this mean for the election?

The simple answer many might give is nothing at all. Is it legal for cicadas to vote? Whom would they support? Most importantly do cicadas vote? These are not as easy to answer as you might think.

The question of who is legal to vote in theory should be very simple. US Citizens over 18 providing ID should be given a ballot for voting in person and their vote counted. There certainly could be a few cases involving illness or US Military deployment that could allow for exceptions. Only right now it seems The Democratic Party is courting votes from dead people, illegal aliens, and mules. That and They are fighting for the rights of Non-Citizens to vote on all fronts.

Cicadas emerge from underground just like dead people. They look foreign or even alien and are animals just like a mule. It would seem they meet these Democratic qualifications. As for being 18, some may qualify. They spent 17 years underground which is close. Many, if not all, will be dead by the election. Which is why they will need to get the ballots in early.

Whom do they Support?

The first obvious thing is there are more cicadas in my backyard buzzing around than Biden has had at all rallies combined. These cicadas are pretty upset. The have heard they are on the menu for the Democrat convention. Climate alarmists are marching and carrying signs proclaiming Eat Bugs not Beef! Many of these cicadas have been buried underground for 17 years. When they emerged they were shocked to hear Joe Biden was President. When they went underground Joe Biden was just a racist plagiarist, not President. 

A renowned entomologist Dr. Isaac Densmore claims he was able to translate all the deafening buzzing noises. “The Cicadas are pissed,” Densmore said “Most of the Buzzing translates to Trump 2024. Although some broods have different messages like F*ck Joe Biden, Let’s Go Brandon, Biden didn’t get 80 Million Votes and Epstein didn’t kill himself. They still feel nobody is listening. But they won’t shut up just like free Palestine protesters. Also, they plan to fly into your car.

Mail in Ballots

As previously mentioned most cicadas will probably be dead by election time. Still, they want a better future for their children when they emerge. The obvious answer is they need to get their votes in before they die. Though Democrats have been known to get this done after death. Mail-In Ballots would seem the best solution. Some might be concerned that there will not be enough ballots or mail trucks. The cicadas do have wings so they must be able to fly in their own votes. Rumor has it that Democrats are trying to print as many ballots as possible because they are pretty sure they will need more this time.

We here at DogFaceponia are not sure what to think of all this. Our Ponies are not fond of the Cicadas, however, the dogs seem to enjoy them. We know that if the cicadas vote for Trump it could spell trouble for The Biden scams. There are trillions of cicadas, nobody believes Biden got 80 Million votes, and trying to outvote these cicadas could be impossible. We all know the only thing Biden does in the Trillions is the deficit.