Being in politics for so long Biden has been around the Bush family for ages. He use to actually read Dr Seuss books to George W. as he sat in Old Joes lap. So the real story is this was one of Joe’s favorite authors. The countless hair tussles that permeated the air with youthful exuberance. Oh and the back of his fingers fondling lightly such soft and innocent skin. As Mr. Biden reminisced his near half century of political endeavors and all of the youth he must’ve touched, he could not help but think of reading Dr. Seuss to George W. in his youth. Joe would read with such rhythm and inflection! Sound effects and voices! In fact, and Facebook fact-checking will concur, that most of Former President George W.’s antics and pistol fingers was in part due to Old Joes reading to him as a child.
He had read to many others as well. Barack and Michelle would have Crazy Uncle Joe read to the children to keep him out of trouble . Michelle loved it so much that she read the Cat in the Hat to the whole nation. Liz Cheney was a regular Biden Lap sitter during the Bush administration and longs to go back to those days.
Those Times long in the rear view and on this particular day Joe wanted to read a Seuss book, Green Eggs and Ham, as it were. Unfortunately, his comprehension of strung together rhymes and ebbing sentences could not slip his tongue. How could this be? His words once compelled youth, even if they were plagiarized, they could give him that half-hard tickle he craved. No he cannot even spit out I am Sam, Sam I am, I do not like Green Eggs and Ham. (The funny think is that when Mr. Biden talks, I mean just talks, he sounds like Dr Seuss.)
Kamala and Joe’s other handlers had heard enough. They now wanted to cancel Seuss to keep Joe out of trouble. Joe protested he is the president after all. Joe suddenly coherent said “Malarkey, Dr. Seuss is no more racist than I am. We need his books to educate kids in this racial jungle.” There was silence in the room . Kamala gave the order, Seuss would be cancelled on Dr. Seuss Day. An angry Joe sulked down to the basement and played with the potato formally known as Mr. Then without asking Kamala’s permission he ordered airstrikes on Syria.
Image From: “Dr. Seuss altar” (CC BY 2.0) by Gruenemann