So there is a baby formula shortage. Unless you live under a rock you know that. Sometimes at DogFacePonia we ask hard questions like … why?
The Main Stream Media will offer some answers like in February there was a recall at Abbott Labs facility in Michigan that makes the most formula in America. We could just say well ok that is that. It explains everything. What is so strange is that normally recalls cause a short term blip. So why is this happening months later. Where did the formula go? It could be argued this is just another in a list of supply chain issues. Another mishap could explain it like all those food processing plants burning down at the same time.
We sent out a few deep cover agents to determine what happened to the baby Formula. Was it corruption, incompetence, mismanagement? What our Agents found might shock you. We did find an increase Trans-aged Adults identifying as babies has put a strain on the supply chain. These adults use nearly 5 times as much formula as the average baby. That however, is not the whole story.
As Hunter Biden got worried at the supply chain woes, he decided that he needed a plan if he ran out of cocaine. He thought about what other powdered substance he could snort or smoke in his harsh pipe (that he got free from the government) . He came up with baby formula powder. He tried it out one time while wasted on fentanyl in Malibu. (Where the government pays 30k a month for him to live.) He liked it so began buying as much as he could get with his art revenues. He is tracking all of this on his new laptop.
Hunter, the Smartest Man Joe Biden knows, started to corner the market on Baby Formula. Then he talked to the Big Guy and had a contract to supply the Border with Formula. The Big Guy will get his 20% of course. Hunter will also provide Formula to Ukraine as part of the 40 Billion in aid. This all comes out of the goodness of Hunters heart of course as he is only selling his formula to the government for10x the retail rate. Hunter is like the El Choppo of Baby Formula, his parents must be proud. Suddenly the $30,000 a month in protection makes more sense. Hunter needs protection from rival baby formula gangs.
Luckily, we all ready have Adult Diapers or they might be running short as well. Word is the Joe Biden might be cornering the market on those as well. DogfacePonia was as shocked as everyone else at these shortages. The Biden regime is so pathetic that is feels like this is all intentional. Not only that but he never had a shortage before men got pregnant. Liberals will tell he the best fix is to legalize the murder of babies …. I mean Abortions even after birth. If only there was another way to feed babies that was done for thousands of years before formula was invented.