Fort Trump

Trump has acquiesced to the renaming of US military bases.  Originally, he was going to name them Trump-1 through Trump-24 or more if determined to be needed.  But in an effort to be bipartisan, Trump agreed to consider some of the following names as well:

  • Fort Trump would require a bunker for soldiers to sleep in.
  • Fort Pelosi would require uniforms to include African kente cloth scarves.
  • Fort BLM will be created out of Minneapolis St Paul ARS.  There will be no munitions allowed.  All soldiers will study social work and nonviolent methods. When called to a danger zone such as Syria to fight isis, they will deescalate and negotiate.
  • Fort Pence will have different dining room for men and women to avoid perceptions of impropriety. When going to war zones they would pray.
  • Fort Second Amendment or Fort NRA would require as many guns as possible especially AK-47s’.

Foreign bases created in the future could include:

  • Fort Biden will have a basement for dog face pony soldiers to live in instead of a barracks. It will be established in DogFacePonia to honor Joe despite his backing out of the senate race there to run for president.
  • Fort Chaz would be initially created in the former third police precinct building and would annex more blocks of Seattle for the military base.
  • Fort Hunter is in the works for Ukraine if Joe Biden is elected. It would pay Hunter Biden $1million dollars a year plus perks to facilitate US investment and to avoid investigations by the US and Ukrainian governments.
  • The location of Fort Putin is still to be determined but will depend on Russian collusion getting   Trump reelected.
  • Fort Xi Jinping will be in Wuhan replacing the wet market.  China would agree to provide all the PPE the base requires.

Readers are invited to suggest other base names to use.

Image From: “190930-d-pb383-040_48823393967_o” (Public Domain) by 3d U.S. Infantry Regiment (The Old Guard)