Kamala Brings Toilet Paper Aid

Money coming out of a roll of toiletpaper

A technical issue forced Vice President Kamala Harris’ plane to return to Joint Base Andrews in Maryland. About 25 minutes after she had left Sunday on a trip to Guatemala and Mexico they had to stop.

The Vice President continued her trip an hour later after stocking up on toilet paper. She was concerned because developing countries have shortages of toilet paper. Discussions are taking place with Guatemala to determine how much aid would be needed to provide toilet paper to every Guatemalan citizen. Mexico also needs toilet paper aid, so toilet paper was stocked on Air Force Two for both stops. Joe Biden and Kamala Harris will be featured on toilet paper in order to let people know that the US is providing this essential aid.

Kamala is in charge of tackling the root causes of migration. She believes that if toilet paper were plentiful in the Latin American countries and Mexico illegal immigration would be wiped out.

Toilet paper is a symbol of white privilege and we need equity says AOC although she is not willing to give up her toilet paper. She claims Ted Cruz tried to eliminate toilet paper at the capital after January 6th. $100 million was raised to provide toilet paper for her Grandmother in Puerto Rico but was rejected. AOC believes toilet paper is a basic human right and the government should provide it to all citizens.

The For The People Act includes a provision for sufficient toilet paper at all polling places. HR3 requires the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) to negotiate prices for toilet paper. Price gauging toilet paper will be severely punished and will be a no bail offense.

We at DogFacePonia believe this is too narrow a focus on stemming illegal immigration. Knowing our government, they will push American toilet paper companies to open plants in these countries. We wonder what other Congressional bills will address this equity problem. Do you know where your next roll of toilet paper is coming from? You might need to Circle Back like Kamala.

In other news, Mike Lindell is coming out soon with MyBottom toilet paper.

Image From: “Toilet paper with dollar banknotes on or” (CC BY 2.0) by wuestenigel