The New Normal is on a Cruise to China

Woman with people dressed in Medieval plague outfits.

Covid-19 is bringing about a new normal. Television personalities are looking washed out as they lose access to their tanning salons and makeup.  The number of blondes on Fox is significantly reducing as hair dyes become scarce.  Fox demands that makeup and hair products be recognized as essential products which the government should use the Defense Production Act to secure but so far to no avail.  Even the President’s hair is looking grey which may influence future decisions.

Fashion in the future will be designer PPEs and face masks.

A new dance has been invented called the Social Distance.  It includes the elbow bump done at 6 foot separation and wearing masks.  Flirting involves dropping your mask momentarily and flashing your face.

Men no longer bring flowers and candy. The most eligible bachelors are those with stashes of toilet paper. Nothing says I love you like toilet paper.  Tipping in TP is considered the ultimate compliment.

Restaurants will continue failing. Fast food restaurants are positioned to take over the market.  In the future all restaurants will be KFC since chickens don’t carry coronavirus.

Contests allow you to enter your worst enemy to win a cruise.  Trips to China are reserved for any truly evil villain. 

Dogfaceponies are going buggy.  Social distancing has meant that Dogface ponysoldiers are now unable to ride ponies.  There are some dogfacebike soldiers however. 

The post office is struggling because of reduced mail.  This may lead to the post office collapse and a return to the Dogfacepony Express. Dogfaceponia anticipates a bright future.  Invest in Dogfaceponia bonds.

Share your vision of the future after Covid-19 is finally brought under control.

Image From : “Plague doctors” (CC BY 2.0) by PabloBM