Future Shock 2020 Style

Churches in many states are not allowed to open.  So where do you go for religious services? Well that should be obvious. HomeDepot and Wallmart have aisles and could offer this service for the collection donations.  Hobby Lobby could open on Sunday which now is probably consistent with their corporate policy.  Costco is considered an essential business and carries coffins so they are prepared to provide full-service funerals.

Haircuts are also impossible to get in many states.  People can leave their state to go to one that allows haircutting salons to do business.  Opening salons is a way to promote tourism. One hotel advertises Stay at our hotel and get a free haircut. One alternative is to get an underground haircut in their garage. Another alternative is to go to a dog groomer since those are usually allowed to continue working even when salons are not.

Grass cutting is not allowed in Michigan.  If you want to cut your lawn you can’t take it over the state line (although I am sure some will try).  You also can’t hide your lawless behavior.  The evidence is there for all to see and report to the police and put on youtube. The solution is to buy a goat(s).  Goat husbandry is a thriving business in DogFacePonia.  Stock IPO is being planned under symbol DFGH on the NASDAQ.

Restaurants currently must have three blow up dolls per customer for eating in a dining room.  Restaurants are offering them to customers, auctioning or raffling them to patrons when they are allowed to expand from 25% to 50% of capacity.  Dinner and a movie has become dinner and a blowup doll. This is great for lonely men who have had to stay-in-place alone. Churches want to know why they can’t use blowup dolls to provide social distancing and be allowed to open.  Why are they treated differently?

We invite your comments.

Image From : “Goat grazing on the river bank” (CC BY 2.0) by Ivan Radic