When the Gun Confiscation bill was signed into law by the Biden Regime, our agents looked into the bill. Shockingly we found the FBI got a $100 million dollar bonus for salaries and expenses. This seems to be the line the Liberals write in every bill to give open ended cash to their buddies. Remember the recent $28 million sent to the FDA for creating the Baby Formula problems? That was all Salaries and Expenses. Then they did a power point presentation showing all the accomplishments of the FBI to show it is worthy of a raise.
FBI Accomplishments involving Gun Control
- Attempted to kidnap Gretchen Whitmer after radicalizing a couple of people. Blamed on Right Wing. Failed to blow up a bridge.
- Foiled the Assassination Attempt on George W Bush which they helped to plan.
- Failed to stop several shootings in schools and shopping markets.
- Protected School Boards from Parents that care about children’s education.
- Tracked everyone who bought Lego versions of the Capital or White House.
- Executed a fake insurrection on January 6th.
“Each of the above did a great job advancing the goal of gun control and confiscation” said the FBI Presenter.
- Showed that dangerous radicalized people could be stopped as long as it involved enough FBI agents and a political leader we supported.
- Legos are dangerous in the wrong hands, all Lego users are now on the watch list.
- Protected important school board members so they can allow children to be groomed.
- Showed that Guns are dangerous in the wrong hands. So we monitored dangerous people and provided the guns at the right times.
- Showed that parades can be called insurrections if you only open the doors and lower security.
We imagine that Ray Epps dressed up as Dr Evil to negotiate the money. Evil Says “We demand 1 Million for the FBI” then Mitt Romney (or maybe Dan Crenshaw he has the eye patch) in the role of Number 2 says “Maybe you should ask for more money $1 Million Dollars isn’t exactly a lot of money these days.” Epps Says “Oh then we Demand 100 Million Dollars” Congress took the 10% for the Big Guy and passed the Bill. The FBI then holds it’s pinky to it’s mouth in excitement.
We here at DogFacePonia are left wondering what the FBI will do with the influx of money. Whatever it is it wont be good for your rights.