Alphabetical Drinking

Bars are opening based on the school guidelines. They are claiming that they should not be held to a different standard. Bars like liquor stores and schools are essential.

The standard is that bar customers whose last name starts with A to L will attend Tuesday and Thursday while bar customers whose last name begins with M through Z are allowed to go to the bar on Wednesday and Friday.  Monday will be a shortened day with the extra time to be used for bartender collaboration. Groups will alternate on Mondays.  Like schools, bars will close on Saturday and Sunday.  This method clearly favors the M through Z group so an alternate weekly schedule must be implemented that equalizes treatment.

The policy will result in significant others which are part of different alphabetical groups having to breakup.  To avoid this outcome, a new cottage industry will likely arise to create new IDs with the only change being the last name.  Alcoholics may need two IDs to allow them to attend on all days. The normal IDs will be created for underage drinkers who can choose their group.

Saturday will be problematic but to claim the right to open, bars must not deviate from the school schedule. In school districts where schools are open 5 days a week or only providing online education, the bars must follow this schedule. The courts have supported this right of bars and schools to be treated equally.

These restritions may be difficult but it is better than not bring able to open.

Image From: “Oh, and if you haven’t had it the ’ALPHA” (CC BY 2.0) by defaulterror