Biden’s Bizarre Christmas Presents

Biden held a Zoom call from his basement to celebrate Christmas with friends and family. Through masterful investigation our deep cover agents at DogFacePonia obtained a list of gifts that Joe Biden received.

  1. Hunter Biden gave Joe Biden a laptop from his Chinese Contacts detailing all the information they have collected on the Biden family. Rumor has it Joe Biden has been receiving a similar present for years now and has forgotten all about it.
  2. Kamala Harris gave Joe Biden a prewritten resignation letter so all Joe needs to do is sign it when the time is right. Kamala also gave him toilet paper because Kamala knows toilet paper.
  3. Doctor Jill Biden gave Joe his enema and it is clear he really needs these because he is full of it.
  4. Chris Wallace sent Joe a letter of his undying support and assistance during his time as President Elect.
  5. CNN sent a Christmas greeting explaining how it is entirely possible for them to blindly keep supporting him.
  6. Five die hard Democratic Biden supporters pledged to show up at more rallies (and stay in the circles) in the future to support their new Senator.
  7. Hollywood sent Joe Biden a pledge to deliver any children connected to Epstein’s island for future sniff testing.
  8. Hilary sent Joe a private email server and a pardon for him to sign for her.
  9. Dominion sent Joe a Golden Voting machine. After intensive research it was determined this was a message to Joe to remember how he won the election.
  10. Obama sent him a signed picture of him with his Nobel peace prize. This was to inspire Biden to win the Not Trump Nobel Prize in the same way he won the Not Bush Nobel Prize. Obama also sent Joe a signed copy of his Grammy Award winning Audio Book. This was to inspire Joe to win a Grammy with his Music Album.

The Big Guy gave his friends and family contact information for various Chinese and Ukrainian officials they could contact to get new jobs or start new businesses.

We are not sure the meaning behind all of these gifts. It seems Joe is being taken care of by his friends and family. We here at Dogfaceponia are interested to see what kind of epiphany we all have on January 6th.

Image From: “Having a Biden Christmas” (CC BY-NC-ND 2.0) by Joe in DC