Budweiser Asked to Write Speeches for Biden

Budweiser fans with American Flag and fireworks

After watching the Independence Day themed commercial by Budweiser everyone right and left agrees that former fake President Thomas J. Whitmore is way better Fake President than Biden. Whitmore gave an excellent speech to America (by Budweiser) about unity and returning to normal without stupid masks.

Biden’s speeches are about nuking those who disagree and calling people Lying DogFace Pony Soldiers because they Ain’t Black enough. Whitmore (Bill Pullman)’s speeches are about fighting aliens and going forth to drink beer at Independence Day parties. These speeches are way better. The commercial has over 2 million views and YouTube which is more than all of Biden’s speeches combined.

The speech by Whitmore was not without it’s flaws. It had nothing to do with vaccination yet at the end they said get vaccinated. They must be promoting Budweiser as a new vaccine in competition with Corona. Which makes sense as it seems vaccines no longer need full testing to be allowed for emergency use. It is an emergency I need a Beer.

After seeing the commercial Biden initially had planned to plagiarize portions for his future speeches. In the end, it was decided that they need to try to hire Budweiser to write all Biden speech. This all makes sense as Biden sounds drunk all the time and should improve his reach with Alcoholics. They are growing in numbers thanks to Covid Restrictions. Nancy Pelosi is surely onboard.

Future Biden speeches may end with a “Brought to you by Anheuser-Busch InBev” at the End. This will help because at least now we will know where some of the Malarkey is coming from. Anheuser-Busch is of course no longer American as it was bought out by European Brewer InBev in 2008. There is no word yet if Budweiser (Anheuser-Busch InBev) has accepted.

We here at DogFacePonia like drinking American beer like Dos XX. We do not make any recommendation on vaccinations, but the Corona Beer “inoculation” we drank in March 2020 has so far held up.

Image From: “All American!” (CC BY 2.0) by Robert Bejil Productions