The long running protest in front of UberFlush headquarters has caused UberFlush to decide that they are not getting anywhere with the growing list of C.R.A.P Demands. So, they have decided to enter the toilet paper business to increase funding. With demands of toilet paper at all-time highs they expect they will gather all the funding they need.
The first product they plan to introduce is constitutional toilet paper. They have reached out to some Democrats for support. A house bill full of C.R.A.P. is expected to hit the floor soon. We asked Nancy Pelosi for comment and she said, “It only makes sense to dispose of copies of the constitution to a wonderful business oriented and peaceful group so they can spread C.R.A.P. to more locations in the USA.” When we asked Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez about the C.R.A.P. ideas she said, “I have been working hard with Democrats to Crap on the constitution ever since my election, this is a truly innovative American idea and bringing C.R.A.P. all over the USA has always been one of my plans.”
We here in DogFacePonia believe this product may not be as well received as C.R.A.P. and the Democrats do, but at least C.R.A.P. is trying to generate income unlike the failed nation of CHOP/CHAZ. Though we have found out that C.R.A.P. does not intend to do the production of the toilet paper they plan to sell. They instead just have the government donate copies of the constitution to fund them.
We always look forward to hearing more about C.R.A.P., not that we could do anything to stop it. It is expected that C.R.A.P. will be a major talking point at the DNC convention over the next few days. So make sure you tune in.
For the origins of C.R.A.P. please read: