Hunter is a Renaissance man. It would seem he can do anything. Right now he has a fully paid and guarded house in Malibu and is flying high on life, cocaine and baby formula. The future looks bright. Hunter Biden has been hired to pose for a modern statue of David. The White House has commissioned a famous sculpter to produce this statue for the Rose Garden.
Hunter would like to take over for Joe Biden just like Mohammed bin Salman took over for King Salman. What could possibly go wrong? It’s seems like quite a bit actually. Hunter has a lot to worry about. With Joe Biden’s support levels in the toilet, many are wondering if America is ready to Flush For Freedom.
Hunter claims he has never committed a crime so is not worried about any indictments because they have never come before. The Secret Service has always protected him even when he had gun issues. Hunters big concern is how will he get all sorts of free money if Daddy isn’t helping him out. If Joe is removed from office by impeachment or 25th amendment or dies of Cancer, Covid or whatever, he is almost 80 after all. What will Hunter do? Will people still buy his Art or hand him jobs paying Millions to do nothing in Ukraine or China? How will he pay for his needs? Will they take away his free rent is Malibu? The economy and inflation are not looking good either, but as the Smartest Guy Joe Knows, Hunter has some new plans just in case the gravy train runs out.
- Hunter is pitching a new Peleton Commercial in its nude exercise series. It will be a joint commercial for CBD and cigarettes. The promo will say Hunter is still in shape despite his lifestyle (or because of it). A promo for lap dancing on a Peleton will follow.
- Hunter is looking to buy a stake at a Sandals resort and renaming it Sandals Sans. Nudity is required so leave your kids at home. Sniffing is also encouraged.
- Hunter is pitching the idea that he could be a flusher at Uber-Flush. He has practiced over the year for flushing his stash as any good drug addict does. Since the fed have ignored everything he does he has never needed those skills to good use.
- Hunter Biden is considering becoming a tour guide in his home town of Wilmington, DE. He will take you to all the places he and Joe had affairs. Maybe take an drive by Joe’s House where he spent his time in the basement while Trump Campaigned to be president.
- Hunter Biden will offer computer classes. How to not get arrested for crimes. Movie making, Money Laundering, getting your computer repaired and cyber security.
We at DogFacePonia hear they may have opening in the prison laundry where he can use his laundering skills. We really hope he has that in his future.
Image From: “Joe Biden with Hunter Biden” (CC BY-SA 2.0) by louisepalanker
“Joe Biden with Hunter Biden” (CC BY-SA 2.0) by louisepalanker