LeBron to Change his Name just like Facebook

Kobe Bryant vs. Lebron James

LeBron James has tried for years to be popular. He has always wanted to be Like Mike. But for years he has failed. He is not even a Kobe. Sure he won a few championships, but his lack of loyalty has made him hated. His teammates don’t really like him. Cleveland hates him because of his decisions. He is like a mercenary brought in to try to win. Then he jumps ship at the first opportunity for a better situation.

Through this all LeBron is sad he just wants to be liked. He thought maybe people would like him if he embraced BLM and kneeled at games. He thought he should totally stick up for girls stabbing people. None of it worked and most reasonable people, whether basketball fans of not, held an even deeper disdain for him. BLM even said they liked Colin Kaepernick better. Nike gave Kaepernick a better shoe contract. Kaepernick doesn’t even play for a professional team and he feels like circus act.

With all of this in mind, LeBron felt he needed to reinvent himself. So LeBron decided he needed a new name just like Facebook. Ron Artest renamed himself Metta World Peace so why not? But It was hard to find a good name to go with. The LeBron just didn’t work. He wanted to be like Mike but Mike James didn’t do it, as he would always be the lesser Mike not the GOAT. Rick James sounded good but was associated with Dave Chappelle and he decided after the Netflix special that it just wasn’t woke enough. However, LeBron noticed that Brandon Brown seemed to be the most popular athlete in America. NASCAR is a sport right? It seems to have more fans than basketball these days. Let’s Go Brandon is everywhere and not just at NASCAR events but in nearly every sport including basketball.

So LeBron announced a 1 hour ESPN special on his name change. But you don’t have to watch it, we know what happened. He decided to change his name to LeBrandon. This in hopes of getting his own chants. We here at DogfacePonia are very excited to cheer “Let’s Go LeBrandon” as to us it means F*** LeBron and Joe Biden at the same time. Flipping 2 birds off with 1 chant! Talk about getting a good bang for your buck.

Image From: “LeBron James vs. Kobe Bryant” (CC BY 2.0) by EDrost88