Looking Over The Available Talent

Tucker Carlson and Don Lemon looking for work

DogFacePonia has long thought about getting into the Video Business. It’s all the rage and we have been told there is big money to be made. There has been a recent increase in available talent. Fox parted ways with Dan Bongino and Tucker Carlson. Meanwhile CNN let go of Don Lemon. Could one of them fit in a DogFacePonia? We can’t pay them what Fox or CNN did, but we can offer pony food and an invitation to our exclusive BBQ. We can assure everyone the BBQ will be great.

The Candidates:

  • Dan Bongino – He is as awesome as they come. He is a Former New York City Cop and Secret Service Agent. He once said “My entire life right now is about owning the libs. That’s it” Can he do satire? We think he could probably do anything he wanted to be honest. For DogFacePonia this might be a top choice.
  • Don Lemon – We took a look at Don Lemon and thought his whole career has basically been a joke. He even worked to the largest satirical news network CNN. So, we started to think could we make some Lemonade from Lemon? Well first of all it is pronounced ‘Lé-mon’ so not sure it would be very delicious. Lemon recently got in trouble for saying Nikki Haley was past her prime. Don Lemon said Women’s Prime is in 20s, 30s and 40s. Somehow, Biden is not past his? We are not sure Lemon or Biden had a prime. We wonder if our prime at DogFacePonia is coming soon. We are only 3 years old. We are not certain Lemon would fit in on The Pony Farm. To be honest the Ponies hate being harassed and have been known to kick.
  • Tucker Carlson – Imagine if we could get a star like Tucker. But can he do Tucker? Did you see his segment of MyPillow and Vaccines. We know satire and that was awesome. We thought why didn’t we come up with that? The Problem is that he is always saying he is telling the truth.
  • Member of the January 6th Commitee – Though they are not what we would call top talent. We are not sure we can afford “top” talent. They did make a made for TV movie and tried for a grammy. As an added plus, as more and more information comes out, it looks like the whole commission was a satirical joke. Do Rhinos really get along with ponies? We don’t think so. That and our ponies don’t want to hear Kinsinger crying all day. So, it probably isn’t the best fit.

In the end, we are not so sure any of them will work for us, but we can dream right? In the meantime, Michael Grant and I will probably just need to record ourselves wearing our dog and pony masks. Some have said we might not have the faces for video. Then again, our high school English teacher told us we would never be writers. No matter what happens it probably won’t be worse than MSNBC.

Dudes in the’hood” (CC BY 2.0) by FolsomNatural