Animal Liberation Front organizes the Slaughter of over 1,000 Turkeys, just in time for Thanksgiving

Fighting Turkeys

Imagine the horror Harry Schultz must have felt when he entered the eerily quiet buildings at dawn. Every cage empty. Over 40,000 mink vanished overnight. He and his employees were able to recapture a couple thousand that had not yet made it through the hole cut in the chain link fence, but the loss was devastating. The county sheriff’s office was already aware there was a mink situation. The nearby interstate was littered with tiny furry bodies, so many that county had to send out a plow to clear the road. Law enforcement came out and made a report, dusting for fingerprints and making plaster casts of shoe prints found near the fence. “Looks like a size 9 pair of Jimmy Choo’s were involved,” remarked Deputy Browning. He declined to speculate as to motive.

Mink sightings were reported to the local radio station throughout the day. There was a run on traps at the local hardware store.

As the day wore on, the sheriff’s office was called to another farm. Boyd’s Poultry Palace, located about 2 miles from Schultz’s farm, has a grow-out facility for turkeys. “We were going to cage them and get them ready for pick-up,” stated Frank Boyd. “I came out to the barn and mink just scattered. It was horrible. Just horrible.”

Around mid-morning an arrest was made at the local hospital. At approximately 2 am a vehicle swerved off a county road to avoid hitting several mink that ran in front of the vehicle. When the car hit a tree, air bags deployed. Fortunately, the bars had just closed, and the wreck was discovered by a local resident on his way home. The local who called the police and ambulance was suspicious. “You just don’t see women around here wearing camouflage make-up, black hoodies and high heels,” remarked the man, who asked to remain anonymous. The suspects are being held without bond until court on Monday.

Image From: “Kickboxing turkeys” (CC BY-SA 2.0) by stevevoght