In a stunning reversal (in keeping with Joe Biden’s positions of late), Gretchen Whitmer of Michigan is supporting the building of a wall. She claims this is different than supporting the building of The “Diet Coke” Wall. She wants an Evil Wall. Whitmer is building a new improved wall around the Governor’s Mansion in Lansing. This “evil” wall is being designed to keep out peaceful protesters. The engineers building the President’s border wall are being asked to design the Michigan Wall. In keeping with her previous pronouncements, Whitmer is building a moat with Mother f****ing sharks with frickin laser beams in it.
We at Dogfaceponia believe the Governor is taking this action to sell t-shirts and other copyrighted merchandise in preparation for future political campaigns. Ian Ziering of Sharknado is being hired to do Public Relations. Doctor Evil will be brought on to manage the campaign. The Governor believes she can become a cult favorite as well. Mark Cuban had the inside track but was sleeping at the switch so to speak.
The governor is going to take up the TaB cause because it has a cult following as well. The Governor will be seen swimming with the sharks while drinking TaB in her new ads. Mark Hamill of Star Wars, another great franchise, says he would, “like to turn to the dark side and be in the next Sharknado installment.” Austin Powers is also a supporter of TaB and since he is basically the same person as Dr. Evil, he is on board as well.
Joe Biden went to Michigan in support of the Governor and reversed his position on walls. Trump is going there next and is expected to claim that Whitmer like Biden is merely flip-flopping on issues. The wall will also keep out the protesters who object to the “Evil” wall and/or The “Diet Coke” Wall.