Gretchen Whitmer failed to be selected as Biden’s running mate. She was caught on a hot mic before her Convention speech on Monday comparing the DNC to Shark Week on the Discovery Channel. We in DogFacePonia do not think this was accidental. We believe Whitmer, a crafty politician, had an eye to the future to showcase her talent.
Whitmer is now lobbying to be eaten by a shark in the next Sharknado movie. These roles are coveted and more importantly provide the exposure necessary to be in the running in 2024. Mark Cuban was President in Sharknado 3 and has the jump on her. Even Ann Coulter was Vice president in Sharknado 3 which Whitmer couldn’t pull off in real life. Whitmer doesn’t realize that the movie series has been finished like her career. If all else fails, a future in bad B movies can be lucrative.
Shark attacks are up. Rumor has it she collaborating with Lori Lightfoot Mayor of Chicago to import sharks to Lake Michigan to get noticed. She also is copyrighting the slogan “It’s shark week Mother f****ers to claim royalties on all the merchandising.