They’re Coming for Your Guns, Your Beers, Your Lightbulbs and Your Pillow

Man holding 2 Beers while wearing welcome to the gun show shirt.

The presidential beer czar has issued an advisory (read mandate) that Americans should limit beer drinking to two beers a week. Women will get only one. This may reduce transitioning to women. Like in WWII people were issued coupons which allowed them to purchase only two beers a week. Blame Canada for this slippery slope. When it comes to government control they always get there first.

Biden’s beer czar is banning the song 99 bottles of Beer and replacing it with 99 bottles of water, 99 lines of coke, or 99 bongs of pot. With the new beer mandate, the song just got too short.

Recession and Dylan Mulvaney were already doing the job of causing deflation to 2 bottles – Well maybe just for Bud Light. Since Bud Light did so well in supporting the new 2 beer mandate, the competition is expected (under government pressure) to promote the new Kamala and Joe two-packs. What could reduce drinking more than this? It will give Dylan a run for (choose a pronoun) his/her/its/they/them etc. money.

Expect government confiscation of 97 bottles out of 99 to reach the government mandate of only two beers a week. They will be dumping them in Boston Harbor in a Boston Beer Party but attendees at the event were drinking the beer and not dumping it in the harbor. Swimming and fishing will be limited as well because of the water’s alcohol content. Beached whales have been determined to exceed the legal limit of alcohol. Should all this work they may limit citizens to just 2 guns as well.

Cartels sending immigrants over the border with beers. Beer trafficking is becoming the new money maker. The Mexican government is declaring a beer emergency as Beer supplies dwindle. The ATF has been called in to help stem the flow. They are excited to be able to enforce beer and firearms together.

Come and Take It

Ted Cruz went on TV to drink more than two beers. When asked about his beer, Cruz was quoted as saying “Come and take it”. “You can have my beer when you pry it from my cold dead hands. And even then, good luck!” ATF is raiding his home. AOC has hired more security in fear that he will get drunk and almost murder her.

Elizabeth Warren has hurt her chances of running for President by drinking beer in an Instagram ad. This also undermines her claim that she is of Indian descent since Indians don’t drink alcohol. It may be her other lineage that overcomes this. Still, the United States is 20th in top beer consumption. Canada on the other hand is 36th. It’s working!!

Past civilizations failed because of a lack of beer. People were enslaved because they were only able to get 2 beers a week. As Ben Franklin once said, “In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.” This may be less true than a century ago, but if Biden has his way Wisdom, Freedom will be taken away and replaced with 97 boosters to stop the bacteria.

I got tears in my ears from lying on my back crying over beer. Sounds like a great song.

A move to change the Second Amendment to include beer has been initiated. They are coming for your guns, your beers, and your MyPillow. If you are feeling in the dark about all this, it is probably because they took away your dangerous incandescent light bulb.

Image From: “weightlifting” (CC BY-NC 2.0) by Andrew Huff