What the FBI Was Really Looking for at Trumps House

Trump Reading

The mainstream media, based on anonymous sources, leaked that Trump had Nuclear Documents! So this was the pretext for the raid on Mar-A-Lago. We all need to suspend belief for a moment to get this straight.

According to the mainstream media, Trump took Nuclear Documents and then refused to give them up after he knew, they knew, he had them! He was going to sell them to a foreign advisor. Not only that but he held on to them for 18 months, no big deal. Trump is the highest-profile spy in history! Trump, Donald Trump secret agent 0045. Agents at the FBI, DHS, NSA, or the Military never exposed him. He almost got away with it. If not for the brave National Archivers who caught him, the world would have been lost.

It makes the conspiracy theory sound more plausible. If it really took this long to recover Nuclear documents, they should all be fired. Which Trump plans to do when he returns. The question remains. What were they really looking for?

The Documents

  • Scientific Proof the Nuclear Family is the best way – Oh no!!! Nuclear get it.
  • Kim Jong-Un’s personal contact information – Just in case he needs someone to talk to.
  • Kim Kardashian’s Phone Number – This discussion of Kim Jong-Un made us think of another Kim. Biden just wants to sniff her.
  • Hunter Biden‘s Password – He is so savvy with Computers he probably hasn’t changed it since he got the laptop repaired.
  • Information on Who Killed Jeffery Epstein – Seriously we all want to know.
  • A stamped souvenir ticket for the Lolita Express
  • Aliens – yeah all the Alien stuff.
  • Proof the World is Flat.
  • Ashely Biden’s Diary – The FBI illegally raided Project Veritas because they, you know, turned over Ashley Biden’s Diary. Trump must have a copy too. So does anyone who has a search engine at this point.
  • Proof the FBI covered up information on the Hillary paid for Russian Dossier.
  • The Russian pee tape.
  • Proof the Election was Stolen – We are not sure why he didn’t come out with it sooner.
  • Hillary Clinton’s e-mails provided by Putin.
  • Location of Jimmy Hoffa’s remains.
  • Picture of Bigfoot.
  • Joe Biden’s Classified Documents

We here in DogFacePonia believe the news will tell you that this was an Insurrection. Trump was going to build a Nuclear Bomb or whatever it took to make it seem that raiding Trump’s home was the only choice.

Image From: The White House from Washington, DC, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons