The next wave of books is coming to confuse our children. After the success of dumbing our nation to new lows with books like They, She, He, Me: Free to Be! We really wish we could tell you that was not a real book, because I feel like I lost IQ just typing it out.
The new wave will take the cake or help you become the cake. The next book in the series is Bah, Roof, Moo, Meow, Free To Be! This new book is sheer lunacy brought to you by intellectually superior minds like Beavis, Butthead and Joy Reid. We are sure that morons will just love it.
We sat down with some of the teachers when the book was tested out in schools. The results are just astounding.
Identifying The Teachers
One teacher, who has identifies as sheep was so proud of its students. This sheep went on to explain this groundbreaking book and thinks it should be taught to all K-5 students. After just one time reading the book this sheep said how proud it was to see students coming out as sheep, dogs, cows, and cats. These First graders really understood the book according to the Sheep and they will be able to identify themselves so much better.
Another Teacher refused to do anything but meow in the interview. It then drank milk from a saucer. This cat explained in writing that it has litter boxes in the classroom which does not go over very well with the dogs. The classroom sounded more like a farm than a learning environment but what do we know. According to the Cat, these children had embraced the classroom teachings on a high level that even their parents don’t seem to understand. The children are now “jumpin’ around all nimbly bimbly from tree to tree”.
We here in DogFacePonia really could not take any more, so we failed to find a cow or dog teacher to interview. We suppose it is just coming to the point in society where one person’s classroom is another person’s barnyard. For some far out reason, we believe that maybe we should let children grow up without undue influence. We do understand this likely makes us Barnyardphobic or Human Supremacists, even though we own a herd of ponies. If we are lucky they will just add Phobic to the another word. Until then just Roar like a Lion I guess.
Image From: “wooly sheep hats” (CC BY-NC-ND 2.0) by .evenwestvang
