Not only do presidential pets tend to improve their owners’ public image as normal guys, but they help reduce the stress for the most powerful person in the world. Biden’s handlers thought a dog would improve their candidate’s image as cognitively challenged but it back fired. Or is it bark fired.
Biden adopted a rescue dog to show off at the white house and take over the news cycle when needed. He changed the dog’s name from Cujo to Major. Polling shows that eighty-five per cent of the White House staff love Major and everyone knows you can trust polling. Pets have been more popular than the presidents who owned them however, eighty-five percent of staffers also love Biden according to trusted pollsters. Go figure.
Anonymous sources told CNN, the first family is also expected to get an Eagle named Jim to replace a previous pet Crow also named Jim. The Bidens are also expected to get a cat.
Major has been involved in several incidents so far. Recently, Major achieved the objective of taking over the news cycle from the border crisis by nipping a worker. He was responsible for Biden fracturing his foot after chasing the dog while naked after a shower. It is accepted knowledge that “Dogs tell the truth.” Major’s actions were blamed on the environment within the White House which is Trump’s fault. Is an exorcism in the offing? There is also a dispute as to who should pay for the doggie dump on the carpet.
If a dog bites two people, that dog had better get his affairs in order. Major’s bites however, had no penetration, but Joe may give his first pardon to Major just in case. Republicans are yelling foul at the nepotism. They expect Hunter to be pardoned next although there are no reports of how many secret service dudes he has bitten. Hunter was sent to his room after one incident and then began listening to “Who let the Dogs Out“
We at DogFacePonia are concerned about the White House the treatment of dogs. From what we can see Major is just doing what he can to help America.
Image From: “From the Dog Shelter to the White House” (CC BY 2.0) by kaleabmartin
