Jen & Berry’s creative department has come up with some new flavors in the attempt to deliver ice cream to everyone equally. We here in DogFacePonia find some of these new offerings to be more complex than black and white. I guess we will introduce the options without being too sheepish.
Island Delight – This Deep State protected flavor is to die for. It is so amazing you might kill yourself. One spoonful will have you attracting younger Lolita’s than you ever dreamed. Bill Clinton says this flavor can be different with each encounter. He has given it to many associates. We can’t get their feedback as they all committed suicide it was so great.
Hunter Surprise – Infused with bagels and cocaine flavors. The company has High expectations for this flavor. Sales in the USA are not expected to be overwhelming but worldwide sales are expected to be un-documentable. Some of the test markets have even reported testers having babies with strippers! Bonus – just remember not to pay child support.
Firecracker – Imagine the burning sensation of Portland in the summer. The mixture of flavors in the delight are so secret they may melt the polar ice caps. The expectations are that this flavor will burn so good it will be 93% peaceful. Unfortunately, this flavor may not to be sold in South Dakota, especially at Mount Rushmore.
Thanos Solution – Infused with COVID vaccines of multiple varieties, this flavor is to die for. Survival rate of this flavor is said to be 50%, but the people that live will be able to collect 2 times a much in government handouts.
BLM Movement – This is a rich chocolate laxatives’ flavored ice cream. It will have you running to the bathroom for your own movement. You can feel “woke” all night after eating a pint of this equitable creation. Each purchase also comes with a scratch off to win Toilet Paper for life.
Capital Erection – Smooth Yogurt and Viagra combination will have people coming back for more. This long lasting flavor enhances more than you might expect. Reviews of this flavor from focus groups are very hot, heavy and surprisingly concentrated on Chuck Schumer.
Double Peach – With 2 times the im-Peach flavor than any other predecessor. The enjoyment of each scoop Trumps all the competitors. This flavor is one of a kind and is expected to exceed expectations of the polls every time.
Sniffers Variant – This is a surprise taste experience. Some may feel it is silent but deadly, but this flavor touches you like you are a child again. The situation may make parents uncomfortable/silent, but Bi Den, how deadly can it be!
We here in DogFacePonia believe Jen & Berry’s are creating some great ideas and we hope that they will continue to push the world in a better direction, unlike their National Socialist counterparts. Fortunately, Jen and Berry’s is just a small business, so the government will take care of them just like Amazon!!!