Georgia Democratic gubernatorial candidate, Stacey Abrams claimed earlier this week that fetal heartbeats detected at six weeks are a “manufactured sound” designed to help men control women’s bodies. Normally this would be called anti-science and disinformation but Abrams is a leftist promoting abortion so it doesn’t count. This “scientific view” came as quite a shock to us here in DogFacePonia. We decided to try and locate anyone with or without a degree in any scientific field who could corroborate this opinion. Much to our surprise, not one person living could understand where Ms. Abrams received this information. However, The Leaders of the Zombie Party of Georgia gave their approval by saying “Eat Brains”.
We decided to consult some of fictional medical specialist Dr. Blight Twitcher to get a better understanding.
Dr. Twitcher decided that Stacy Abrams could not be the Governor of any state. She as a person cannot hold an elected position while brain-dead. Twitcher explained further that brain-dead is literally when somebody’s brain has stopped functioning such that they will never regain consciousness. How she got to this state is hard to say. Either the zombie party ate her brain in exchange to stuffing ballot boxes with dead people’s votes or she was born without a brain.
Dr. Twitcher said, “We are not sure what is more unbelievable, Stacy Abrams can still walk and talk in her brain-dead condition or that Joe Biden received 81 Million votes”.
We here in DogFacePonia send our condolences out to the Abrams Family and the voters of Georgia. Voters are sad when they cannot vote against Stacy Abrams again due to her untimely braindead condition. It is unknown who will replace Abrams as President of United Earth not that anyone as stupid as she is could be President in reality.
Office of U.S. House Speaker, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons